Never did I imagine I would ever blog. Well here I am. I don't know if anyone will ever see this or look at it, but I wanted a place to just write what was going on in my life, my children's lives and my husband. And so many times I just want to brag on God. So I entitled my blog, "So Blessed", because that is what I am, so very blessed.
Today I write because my heart is heavy. A dear friend of my pastor's was killed in a motorcycle accident yesterday. He too was a pastor of a church in Oklahoma. I did not know him well, I knew of him because he had come to our church to speak on ocassions that our pastor invited him. Why you may ask does it lay heavy on my heart? Well I will tell you :).
When I read on my facebook page that he had died I was saddened. But it really began to make me think later in the night, and I thought you know it is sad when someone loses a loved one, and I am sad for them, but especially if it is in a tragedy.
My family is surviving on one vehicle right now, and if I were still in Georgia it really would not be a very big idea. But where we live now, we have to drive thirty minutes to get anywhere. So I am being taxi mom for about 300 miles a day. That means I am in the car a lot! This morning at 4:00 I was on my way back home from taking my husband to work. And on my mind was this family who lost their husband, dad, grandfather, brother, etc.. After praying for them and thinking to myself how very sad, and how tragic I made it home and went inside and laid in my bed to go back to sleep until time to get up for real and take my next journey in the car. As I lay there in the bed, by myself, I thought wow, the wife of this man will do this every night now. For so many years she has shared her bed with a man she loved greatly. For many years she has never slept alone. For many years, someone was there when she woke up. And now, she is alone. I thought how quiet it was in my room, how lonely if tomorrow I woke up and knew that my husband no longer would be there sharing my bed, holding me when I was afraid or upset, snoring or stealing the covers, or just there. Wow, my heart ached for this lady. I prayed for her, and then the thought came to me. I know he is in Heaven and I would not wish him back nor would his family or wife, though at this time she wished he were here. But why did God allow this to happen? Not asking why do we go through trials and tragedy, but really what is the purpose for this one? And then I said, you know as Christians, God allows us to go through different trials, temptations, and tests to show us that He can. That when we are desperate, He can pull us out. That when we think we can not go on any longer, He will be there. That when we are afraid, He is there to calm our fears. And when someone leaves to go be with Him, we can still make it, and He will comfort us, and be there. As a Christian at the end of our trial, when things begin to look more hopeful, how will be able to go to God and say we did throught that trial, test or tragedy? That is the question. That is the purpose of the trial. Maybe not to make us look better, or good, but to help us to grow stronger, grow more in our faith and depend on Him more. But wait......what about all of those people that are watching us? We may go through our trials for them. During the trial that is happening, we do not necesarily want to be a strong person or be this mighty warrior for God, but our actions, our faith and our determination to just keep going, can sometimes be such a big encouragement to someone else.
So....I say this because I prayed for her, I prayed that at the end of this tragedy, whenever that is, when time begins again for her, when life takes on a new normal for her, and she begins to live again, she will have people that come to her and tell her how much of an encouragement she has been for them by the way she lived through her trial and tragedy. I pray that her children and grandchildren can say that their mother and grandmother was a true warrior for Christ. I pray that people will surround her with love right now, she will sense His presence and that without a doubt she will know that there is a purpose for this, and He is going to see her through this.
No...tragedy, trial, tests, they are not easy even with God helping us through. He does not promise a road without pain, tears, heartache, but hold on my child, Joy comes in the morning!
So that being said, my prayers are with this family, the church that just lost a pastor of 25 years, and with the many friends like my pastor.
Already I can tell you something good that came from this....it has reminded me and my husband that life is too short, we are not promised the next minute of our lives, and the next one could be the last we are with our loved ones. How lonely that bed felt this morning imagining that it was how it would be if my husband were taken to Heaven. But I don't say I could not handle it, I could with God's help.
It also made me question how much do I represent what Christ wants me to be when I go through the trials I go through. Instead of looking at it as a trial I need to remember it is a test, did I pass, or did I fail?
"No test or tempatation is beyond what other have had to face, all you need to remember is that God is with you, He will never let you be pushed beyond your limits, He will always be there to help you come through".
I Cor. 10:13
I am indeed so blessed.........
