Wow....I saw the name of my blog on a list of favorites tonight and thought....I need to go and see when the last time I blogged was. And never did I imagine what my last post was.......
Why is it such a big surprise or deal....let me tell you....
When I last blogged, my mother-in-law was very sick in the hospital. We were not sure she would make it through that time. She did. She came home, she experienced not one but two more birthdays. And she did not go before her husband of 55 years. No.....in late November he went to be with the Lord. It was a sad time, though we were all glad he no longer suffered. And we mourned him being gone, but none as much as my mother-in-law.
She had to go live with my brother-in-law and sister-in-law, and to say that she was lonely, well not because no one visited, or she one by herself, but for 55 years she had her best friend with her, always there, always doing for her, spending life with her, putting up with her mistakes and her flaws as she did his, and always by her side. She missed him greatly. For 8 months she fought to be happy. She lived life quietly. She did not say much. She did not ask for much. She lived.
And so four days after her 74th birthday, very unexpectedly, she went to live eternally with her best friend. She saw Jesus, she sat at his feet, and then I know she ran into the arms of her love.
Oh yes, we all grieve over her death, we miss her, we notice the little things that we never thought of when she was here. We would love to talk to her, and spend time with her again, but never would we ever want her back, because she does not suffer health wise anymore, she does not gasp for every breath, she does not hurt, she is not lonely, she does not miss her lifelong friend, she does not want for anything nor does she have to struggle to smile. She is where she wanted to be for the past 8 months.
Something that we knew one day we would have to walk through, never did we imagine that it would be 8 months apart from each other.
I am thankful, thankful for two parents who raised their son with love in his heart bigger than any heart I have ever been a part of. I am thankful that for 22 years, they were a part of my life. And I am especially thankful, that one day they both asked Jesus into their hearts and now live eternally with Him together.
In this last month, we have also had the horrible news that my husband may have lung cancer. He does not smoke nor has he ever. But he has had pneumonia for months, and it won't clear up. So one day he went into the pulmonologist and he told him that he thought it was cancer. I can tell you that there is not one thing in my life that has stopped me dead in my tracks, causing me to put everything aside, on hold, and cry, and think about so many things that were possible to happen now, and that would happen in the future because of this diagnosis. We prayed, we cried, we talked, we just laid in silence for two days that seems liked years.
We went and had two other opinions from his regular doctors, and they both said that the other doctor was out of line for even saying it was cancer. That they both felt it was not.
So we wait. In a few days we will go back and have another xray to see how the spot has gotten---bigger or smaller. And then we go from there.
God is in control. He knows what it is. He knows what to do. He has it all in His hands and no amount of worry, tears, greif, or anything will change what it is. But we know God can heal him, He can make it not so, and He can do anything.
So....for now....we wait and know He is God.
I am so very blessed to have gone through this.....God reminded me that the little things just don't matter. They are not worth worrying about, and they are not important.
He also reminded me that I need not take my husband or anyone else for granted. God blessed me with a wonderful man. A man that loves me unconditionally. A man that is my best friend. And too often I do take him for granted.
But not anymore. I am thankful each and everyday that God gives me to spend with him. And you know I have started letting the little things be just that little things.
I am blessed, so blessed.......and thankful!!!
